Can't Feel
by seaofinferno
Summary: It's inside the story thing. You'll find it! Too lazy, to retype, or copy and paste! Rated M, for 100% Saftey and suchels! :
1. Numb

Can't Feel - seaofinferno

Rated: M, sort of, some parts, T, ya' know, Language n' stuff

Characters: England, America

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Nowadays I don't feel anything. No pain, no happiness, no nothing. Some would find that, as a gift,

but, it's much worse than that. No one will ever understand, and no one will save me from the numbness.

Rated T/M. Language, Attempted Suicide, all that angst-stuff.

I do not own anything that has to do with this, except well, this story itself. Now, I would give you a fully intact lecture about this, but, time is money! Enjoy the story….. :)

"Living is Dying, and Dying, is Living," - Anonymous

Chapter 1: Nothing

England's POV

I looked outside, at the fast, cold darts of rain. These days, it's constantly been raining, here in London. Sure, I've

gotten used to it by now, but it doesn't help me one bit. I don't know why, and I'm not even going to try to find out, why, but, I feel empty. God knows why, but, it feels, like, everything about the world, is wrong, cold, and full of hate. And whenever, I even try to push these numb thoughts away, they come back, haunting, hovering above my head, never missing a chance, to break apart my mind. Greetings. My name, is Arthur Kirkland, 23 years old, and, as said, in a great state of depression. Or, so everyone says, I am… As you may of recently noticed, I see the world in grey, and can never get my mind to think straight. Every since the Revolutionary War, I've been feeling, depressed. But, being the person I am, or, well, country, I hid that unhappiness, from everyone. No one knew, but me. But, things have changed. More wars have been fought, and more lives, lost. My country, used to rule the world, but now, it is back, to the state, of weakness. But, I was young and strong then, who knows what I did, to become that powerful. I yearn for my pirate days, back, when I ruled the seas, feared by the greatest, and hailed by my people.

But, there's nothing exciting now. Just rain, rain, and more rain…

I snatched the remote control from my stained coffee table, not noticing, that the rain had ceased it's down pour, and formed a peaceful state of rainbows. I flicked on the television, not really caring what was on. I was just trying to keep my mind, off, of, the loss. Yeah yeah, I know, I must sound like a total drama queen, but, theres one nick in the rope. This was no set, full of fancy cameras, and hair spray. No, this was life.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

I bet, based on what you've heard of me, your probably thinking, that, I had a terrible childhood, full of abuse, and a cursed family. Yeah, well, guess what. That's not true. Well, my 4 other brothers, I guess you could call them cursed. There all so annoying, and at times, so rude, that I cannot even talk about the style of their actions! My family, per say, are completely fine. Fights did appear commonly, but nothing serious. We fought, more about, who would get the last scone, or, whose sock was which. But, that's it. I seriously, don't know what to do. I don't see any point of any way, of why or how I should live. Is there, anything thad will make my life any more of a living hell?

**Yeah yeah, I know, an extremely short CHAPTER! But oh well! See ya'!**


	2. Thinking

Can't Feel

Chapter 2: Thinking

Rated: T-M

Warning: Extreme Angst and such, and, well, just be prepared for DRAMA!

"All Wars, are Civil Wars, because All Men, are brothers." ~ Francois Fenelon

Nothing:

England's POV

It was still raining, except it seemed that every droplet that pelted against the ground, echoed through my mind, through an every lasting tunnel. It terrified me, that just 10 years ago, I was a bright person. I was happy, and I had anything anybody could ever want. Now, I was just sitting, facing the cold Earth, and staring at the rain. I quickly glanced at my watch. 4:56 pm. I scowled, but that expression quickly dissolved. "That's odd, I thought I sat down from 10:30 am!" I muttered to myself. I got up, and trudged over to my bed room. It was nothing special. It was a deep scarlet, almost brown, and instead of giving off a heated feeling, it soothed my thoughts. I had a red and black four-poster, that covered about 1/4 of the room. There were tall, slender windows near the ending of the room, with a calming, cream colored carpet. I walked heavily over to my bed. I looked to my left, and saw my bathroom, that was connected to this very bedroom. I wasn't hungry, nor was I happy. I just felt, like I was carrying 10 solid bars of iron on every limb of my body. I trudged over to my four- poster, and once again, looked outside. It has stopped raining, and a glistening rainbow carried itself out into the open. I grinned, and the muscles around my mouth, stiffened at the sudden movement. It has been such a long time since I smiled. But, I made sure, that I kept it up, and walked briskly over to the tall windows. As I gazed towards the Great Outdoors, I noticed how much I had been missing out on. Summer has finally arrived. After all that rain, comes the beautiful days of sun. To be honest with you, I'm not used to being so happy. Oh well, looks like I'll have to get used to it. The last time I smiled, was, well, in March, when I was taking a stroll in the park. When I sat down on the old wooden bench, I… was well, people watching. You probably are suprised, but it actually is rather fun to "people watch". It's like bird -watching all except that instead of birds, you spy on people! Anyway, there was a young man with shoulder length hair and crystal blue eyes. He was about to start biking. I bet, that it was his first time, to actually ride a bike. So the young man, started to pump the pedals, and, he fell off. I was staring at him the whole entire time, and I started to laugh hysterically. Hey, it WAS funny! I stepped away from the windows, and sat down steadily on my four poster. I was tired, and even though it was only 7:28 pm, I decided that I would go to sleep now. Good Night, I mean, Evening.


End file.
